The Pumpkin Patch

Pumpkin Patch In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes,cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need.
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" He commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor." I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's..just working away at this pumpkin.
"Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'
"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

Giraffe Kisses

How sweet is that?

Lockdown

Talk about freezing rain...sheesh!

How To Tick People Off

This cracked me up! Imagine actually doing these things and how people would respond. Hee hee.

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise. (I may have to try this)
    
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are. (LOL)
    
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera. (Can you imagine?)
    
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Are You Quick?

How quick are your reactions? I'm a Rocketing Rabbit at 0.1998 average seconds. :)



http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

Congrats Brandon

Someone I know has just completed a true test of self. Brandon has just completed the 2160 mile Appalachian Trail in 5 months, 7 days. Congratulations and welcome home! He went by himself. He says he met many people along the way but never spent more than a few days with any one group of people. He started in Georgia and went to Maine. He took one day off the trail to hitchhike to Ben and Jerry's Factory. It took 9 hitches to get there and 7 hitches to get back. He completed their test also by eating a half gallon of ice cream in less than 40 minutes. Another interesting aspect of this trip - to me - was his choice of breakfast foods. Peanut butter, Nutella, M & M's, fruit and nut trail mix all wrapped in a flour tortilla. He says it was great. I guess after the days of dumpster diving it was pretty good. Water that he drank was treated with 2 drops of bleach per liter. Snickers were considered gold. What a trip. Glad you made it through.

The Appalachian Trail is a continuous marked footpath that goes from Katahdin in Maine to Springer Mountain in Georgia, a distance of about 2160 miles. Many trace the origins of the Trail to a 1921 article by Benton MacKaye entitled An Appalachian Trail: A Project in Regional Planning.

State	Mileage
Maine	281
New Hampshire	161
Vermont	146
Massachusetts	90
Connecticut	52
New York	88
New Jersey	74
Pennsylvania	232
Maryland	41
West Virginia	** 2
Virginia	544
North Carolina	* 371
Tennessee	* 371
Georgia	75

Totaling 2157 miles.

* The A.T. in Tennessee and North Carolina runs right along the border of the two states, making it impossible to give mileage for the individual states. The 371 figure represents the total mileage for both states.

** In addition to these two miles, the trail south of the Harpers Ferry area runs right along the Virginia-West Virginia for about 20 miles.

High Point in New Jersey is slightly off the AT.

Tornado

Backside view of a trailer with another's roof leaning on it.

Tornado

Another side of the trailer park. The trash everywhere is unbelieveable. Tiny pieces to car size pieces.

Tornado

Remains of trailer at Eastbrrok. Long view shows many other damaged trailers behind it.

Tornado

Side view of Eastbrook Trailer Park

Tornado

Another trailer in Eastbrook Trailer Park.

Tornado

Trailer was split in two and had someone elses roof leaning against the side of it. (Eastbrook Trailer Park)

Tornado

Huge tree uprooted by the tornado.

Tornado

A very large tree twisted by the winds.

Tornado

Metal wrapped around a tree. Can you imagine the force of wind it took to do this?

Tornado

A dead deer found along Outer Pollack Avenue behind Ellis Park. It was one of fifteen deer that was dead. I include it only because of the way these deer died. Obviously, they were in a group eating in the field and were surprised by the tornado. Their skin was peeled away in places. I don't know how else to describe it. This was one of the least gory carcasses I found. They were all within 30 feet of each other.

Tornado

This is a bunch of insulation and metal that was blown into the trees across the street from the trailer park.

Tornado

A severely damaged house and trees on Frame Road.

Tornado

One of several ruined houses on Vann Avenue behind Castle High.

Tornado Pictures

The next several entries are going to be pictures of the tornado that went through Newburgh and Boonville. I must warn you. Some of these pictures are very hard to look at. I will have more in the future.