What Breed of Puppy Are You?

You Are a German Shepherd Puppy

Intelligent, quick witted, and a bit aggressive. You've got the jaw power to take a bite out of anyone you choose.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100%

Spelling: 100%

Vocabulary: 100%

Punctuation: 80%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

What a Moron

I'm thinking about starting a "Bad Judgment Hall of Fame." This guy can be a charter member.

Camel Spiders. This was sent to me some time ago by a friend. I thought it was a hoax. I recently talked to a guy that just got back from Iraq. He insists that these spiders are very real and that nothing will clear a tent quicker. He said the spiders chased down rats and he never saw a rat win. Now we all have the willies. Yuck! I'll never bitch about a Wolf spider again. 

Where does the middle column end? 

Hmm... 

Now that's funny 

Can you find seven horses? 

Holy Crap! 

Memo:

NEMO IS A SALTWATER FISH. NO, HE WON'T BE ABLE TO LIVE IN YOUR TROPICAL FISH TANK. NOT EVEN FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
SHEESH!

Think You Know Everything?

I recently received this via e-mail. I liked it so much I decided to share. Maybe others would like to play? If you leave an answer, I'll respond if it's correct or not. Once there is a correct answer for a specific question, please don't leave an answer for the same question. Good Luck. :)



1. There's one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. At noon and midnight the hour and minute hands are exactly coincident with each other. How many other times between noon and midnight do the hour and minute hands cross?

5. What is the only sport in which the ball is always in the possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?

6. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

7. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

8. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw." They are all common. Name two of them.

9. There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them?

10. Where are the lakes that are referred to in the "Los Angeles Lakers?"

11. There are seven ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls -- a walk -- is one way. Name the other six.

12. It's the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?

13. How is it possible for a pitcher to make four or more strikeouts in one inning?

14. Name six or more things that you can wear on your feet, that begin with the letter "s."

What Mythological Creature Are You?

	You scored as Faerie. Faerie: Aren't you a cute little flying person? Faeries are earth spirits. They live among each element completely hidden. They have cousins called Pixies. Pixies however, are very mischevious. They enjoy tormenting other creatures for fun. Little pranksters.. I hope you never meet one. Pixies have a bad reputation for finding a creature and clinging to them until death. Faeries can be somewhat close to a Pixie, but mostly they are loving, playful, and carry with them a child-like enthusiasm for life. Hide among the pedals of a Daisy, you are a Faerie. Faerie 92% Mermaid 83% Angel 75% Dragon 67% WereWolf 42% Demon 33% What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!) created with QuizFarm.com

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are You?

You scored as General Grievous. Mace Windu 67% General Grievous 67% Anakin Skywalker 61% Yoda 61% Darth Vader 61% Clone Trooper 56% Padme Amidala 56% Obi Wan Kenobi 53% R2-D2 50% C-3PO 42% Chewbacca 39% Emperor Palpatine 28% Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Mother Nature

Oh, how I love spring weather. Mother Nature has been practicing for the show this evening. A wonderful symphony of sounds have entertained me and a thousand fingers of light have streaked the sky. Impressive to say the least. I spent a lot of time alone this evening on a dark country road just taking it all in. I love to watch the lightning light up the sky. Every now and then, I get lucky and am able to catch it on film. The weatherman forecasted this type of weather all day today and tomorrow. I hope he's right. I'll get another show tomorrow.

:)

A Funny

It was the first day of school and a new student named

Pedro Martinez, the son of a recently immigrated Mexican

restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American

history. "Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his

hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said,

"Government of the people, by the people, for the people,

shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed!

Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its' history

than you do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Pedro. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the

teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, "You little shit.

If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to

Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the

floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble now!"

Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

I Implore Thee

Just a few requests...

1. If you are, hmm, plump(?), please do not wear low-riding jeans accompanied by a belly shirt. Do you think it's sexy to have your roll hanging out over your jeans? News flash: It's not. People are staring because they're scared your jean button is going to pop off and kill them not because they think you're hot.

2. If you are a stupid individual, please stay out of my space.

3. If you honestly don't know the difference between a predator fish and a community fish, please continue with your education. You need it.

4. If you are having pre-wedding jitters, please don't create a huge drama and cause your family days of anguish. Act like an adult with some sense of values and priorities. Sheesh.

5. If you are a bicyclist and are using the roads the cars use, please move to the side of the road so we can pass. We are traveling at a much higher rate of speed than you. Even if you pedal with all you've got, you're pissing us off because we can't pass.