I Implore Thee

Just a few requests...

1. If you are, hmm, plump(?), please do not wear low-riding jeans accompanied by a belly shirt. Do you think it's sexy to have your roll hanging out over your jeans? News flash: It's not. People are staring because they're scared your jean button is going to pop off and kill them not because they think you're hot.

2. If you are a stupid individual, please stay out of my space.

3. If you honestly don't know the difference between a predator fish and a community fish, please continue with your education. You need it.

4. If you are having pre-wedding jitters, please don't create a huge drama and cause your family days of anguish. Act like an adult with some sense of values and priorities. Sheesh.

5. If you are a bicyclist and are using the roads the cars use, please move to the side of the road so we can pass. We are traveling at a much higher rate of speed than you. Even if you pedal with all you've got, you're pissing us off because we can't pass.