Things I've Learned This Week (That I Didn't Want to Know)

1. A really wet bird will shake like a dog regardless of my proximity.

2. A small eel will go after it's "prey" just as quickly and as fiercely as a large one.

3. My toe can take the weight of a large box falling on it without breaking.

4. The cats really are trying to kill me.

5. I am definitely allergic to Long-Tentacle Anemones.

6. Some children don't want to wear socks.

7. A Bic lighter will work one hour after it has been dropped into an aquarium of saltwater.

8. Fish are very curious about Bic lighters.

9. Large puppies can bite very hard.

10. I can keep a secret - a really good one - even though I want to POP!

11. People that shop near Christmas day, whether before or after - are very crabby.

12. A wayward shell on the floor can indeed be a former aquarium tenant.

13. I can be violently ill moments after feeling great.

14. I can't carry two 12 packs of Coke and a bag of groceries at the same time.

15. "When hillbillies come to town, they like to make a day of it". (Very odd couple, indeed)

Winter Solstice

Yet another solstice has arrived. If you've been a regular reader, you know that my dad taught me about the Summer Solstice. Well, he didn't leave me short. He also taught me about the Winter Solstice. Here is what I learned...



The precise moment of the 2005 solstice will be December 21, 2005 at 1:35 P.M. EST (18:35 UT).

In astronomy, the solstice is either of the two times a year when the Sun is at its greatest distance from the celestial equator, the great circle on the celestial sphere that is on the same plane as the earth's equator. In the Northern Hemisphere, the winter solstice occurs either December 21 or 22, when the sun shines directly over the tropic of Capricorn; the summer solstice occurs either June 21 or 22, when the sun shines directly over the tropic of Cancer. In the Southern Hemisphere, the winter and summer solstices are reversed.

Reason for the Seasons

The reason for the different seasons at opposite times of the year in the two hemispheres is that while the earth rotates about the sun, it also spins on its axis, which is tilted some 23.5 degrees towards the plane of its rotation. Because of this tilt, the Northern Hemisphere receives less direct sunlight (creating winter) while the Southern Hemisphere receives more direct sunlight (creating summer). As the Earth continues its orbit the hemisphere that is angled closest to the sun changes and the seasons are reversed

The winter solstice marks the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The sun appears at its lowest point in the sky, and its noontime elevation appears to be the same for several days before and after the solstice. Hence the origin of the word solstice, which comes from Latin solstitium, from sol, "sun" and -stitium, "a stoppage." Following the winter solstice, the days begin to grow longer and the nights shorter.

I hope your day is a little richer with the knowledge of the Solstice. :)

Brrr

Today it is 22 degrees. Yep, that's the high. The temperature is expected to drop to 14 degrees tonight. The only good news is that it is sunny. No snow forecasted for a week or so. We are expecting some flurries on Christmas Eve but nothing ugly like last year.

Children

Things I Have Learned from Children A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. A 3 year old child's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan and tie it to a paint can, it does spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 room. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (including double pane windows) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. When you hear the toilet flush along with the words "uh oh," it's already too late. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke (and lots of it). A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. Certain Lego blocks will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old. Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. Super glue is forever. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. VCRs do not eject sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. You probably don't want to know what that smell is. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in my town has a 5 minute response time. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. The spin cycle on the washing machine does make cats dizzy, however. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Jokes

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"

HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

TEXAN: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"



When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300^o C. The Russians used a pencil.

True Facts

True Facts
These facts are not guaranteed to be true. But they probably are. As it was really long, I've deleted those I felt weren't too interesting.

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Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring. I'm surprised any of them do.

If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people, 51% would be female, 49% male; 50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people, one person would be nearly dead, one nearly born. I want to be one of the 6.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores. Glad I don't work there

Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals. Now that is truly bizarre.

The chameleon has a tongue that is one and a half times the length of his body. Where does it fit?


A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage. One has to ask "Why?"


There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one. Would you really wear that?

Fast food provider Hardee's has recently introduced the Monster Thickburger. It has 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat. Talk about a heart attack waiting to happen.

More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people. Kinda made me wonder what products these are. And do I really want to be using them?

For every person on earth, there are an estimated 200 million insects. Let's hope they don't turn on us. :)

A Georgia company will mix your loved one's ashes with cement and drop it into the ocean to form an artificial reef. This is for me.

A ten year old mattress weighs double what it did when it was new, because of the -ahem- debris which is absorbed through the years. That debris includes dust mites (their droppings and their decaying bodies), mold, millions of dead skin cells, dandruff, animal and human hair, secretions, excretions, lint, pollen, dust, soil, sand and a lot of perspiration, of which the average person loses a quart per day. Good night! Note to self: Buy new mattress!


Mel Gibson has personally earned almost $400,000,000 from his movie "The Passion of the Christ". Holy Crap!


55% of Americans claim they would continue working even if they received a $10,000,000 lottery prize. Yeah, me too. Wink wink.

Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears. Somehow, that's funny.

Newest trend in the Netherlands: Tiny jewels implanted directly into the eye. OUCH

All polar bears are left handed. I hope they're not using those products.

There are only three types of snakes on the island of Tasmania and all three are deadly poisonous. Note to self: Cancel Tasmania vacation.

All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" read 4:20. There's a surprise.

A starfish can turn its stomach inside out. I have witnessed this phenomenon.

85% of the guys who cheat on their wives die while having sex. Serves them right!

In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees. This I gotta see.

A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night. I'm sure this is true. Look at my yard!

Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning. That's kinda cool.

Kitties

Two kitties with odd food tastes!

Children Are Funny

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!"

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read, "...and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling!" The teacher then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: Holy Shit! A talking chicken!"

Interesting Facts

Fact of the Day
In the world's oceans, there are:
58 species of sea grasses.
Less than 1,000 species of cephalopods - squids, octopi, & pearly nautiluses.
1,000 species of sea anemones.
1,500 species of brown algae.
7,000 species of echinoderms - starfishes, sea urchins, sea cucumbers and sea lilies.
13,000 species of fishes.
50,000 species of molluscs.